When you share that you were born on December 25th, people have three responses. 1.) Aw, that’s special or 2.) Would you rather it not be on Christmas? or 3.) That must suck.
I do not know if I would prefer a different date because I do not know what it is like not to have a birthday on Christmas Day.
Person three, this is a rude response.
I freaking love it; The rest of y’all are getting screwed on the presents.
Why was I sleeping on Steely Dan for so long?
At least 9 people I know are either realtors or photographers.
Difficult stuff is going to happen. Cars stop working, dogs need expensive flea and heartworm medications, body parts start acting funny, jobs change. The best way to deal is to set emotions aside, prioritize and manage my time in order to handle it. There is no such thing as, “if I don’t acknowledge it, it doesn’t exist.” If you believe this, you are fucked.
I accept that my body will change for the rest of my life- up and down, thin or cushioned, strong or soft. Read that again and then realize that as soon as you find security wearing it, you will have to fight for it again. Be kind and water it like a fern.
I know have memories of experiencing a full decade. I look back and clearly see the people who gave to me, who invested in me, the people that were kind to me, the mistakes I have made, the hurts I have caused, and the fullness of it all. Now I get to decide which of those experiences are worth doing again and which of those were one and done lessons. Some of these you will do over and over and over before you learn; The control of that is yours.
Make-up is the culprit for blemished, crap skin. (Girls reading, toss.that.shit.out.)
It actually does make more sense to spend a little extra on better quality than to spend on mediocre quantity.
I practice letting empathy move like water in the soles of my shoes.
The more I follow my path in real time as it is revealed before me, the more I realize I am living my own dream life. This is evident as I reread old journal entries where I detailed the many, many things I wanted to do in life: bartend in college, learn to process camera film, experiment with performance art, dance on stage, have 2-3 great friends, learn to cook well, host/cater parties, meet people completely different from myself, understand what people mean by “the one”, teach my body strength and confidence, figure out what the hell the Holy Spirit is, fall in love more than once but only marry once, run a half marathon, never work in a cubical, get messy with clay, raise a puppy on my own, rescue an animal, live alone in a city, see New York, Ireland, Italy, write to a pen pal, get a tattoo…or several. I am blessed to have already experienced so much of what I wanted to do.
Here’s one: Accepting compliments rather than assuming I am being made fun of.
Think before you speak. God, this has taken so long.
Owning responsibility (Parents, watch us make mistakes without judgement or assistance. It is the only way a human will learn. Was it not the same for you in order to grow?).
Each week’s end I remind myself: Go everywhere you have the opportunity to go.
My biggest fears are boredom and insignificance.
Therapy is for all people.
Some of the best people I have known made less than $25k year, barely had a car, are addicts, came from darkly broken homes, struggle with their mental health. God love ’em. For they know peace of mind, contentment, and what you take with you. They are as real as Jesus said the tax collectors and prostitutes were.
You can learn a lot from how men in the workplace treat you. This is how they see you. That is informative when understanding their motivations.
Still young enough to use slang without looking like you’re trying too hard to trend (at least I tell myself this).
Dry shampoo.
Seek mentors. Most people are willing to share a little of their light with yours.
No one really needs to go to college to be educated if they can read books.
I most relate to myself at age 12.
It may actually be possible to do all the things you want to do in life. It is true so far.
The heroes: John Hughes, Anne Lamott, Richard Rohr, our grandparents, Brittany Howard, the Duplass brothers, George Harrison, David Byrne, Keith Haring, Jesus.
I can come across as cold or insensitive. I know this about myself. It is not true. The reality is that I am too sensitive and this is why I withdraw from peopling sometimes. I cannot watch people be unkind to each other, it makes me not want to live in this world. That said, when I make you doubt, know that if I have ever loved you, I’m always gonna.
Small, achievable goals.
I value privacy and I welcome silence.
Hardly any of the nasty things people say are actually personal: don’t make it anything other than misplaced projection if they are not someone you respect or admire.
Grandparents are the greatest living treasures we have.
The people that went to technical college $won$.
Stop doing things to impress people if they aren’t things you actually care about.
When you turn 33, most of your friends have at least one baby. My thoughts: I am only 33. I do not owe anyone an explanation for my choices, same as everyone else. I do not speak about this often but let me just say for the sake of any other woman out there who never hears this side of fertility choice and may feel similarly: my life does not feel less meaningful because I am not a mother to a human baby. As much as I love being told I would be a great mother, I have never cried myself to sleep at night because I am not one. I hope the people who told me that did so because they felt mothered or nurtured by me. That is enough for me, to know I gave them that. The way I see it, there are many forms of love to experience. Choice is the gift of our existence.
I am willing to risk humiliation to execute the things I feel put on earth to do.
Quitting often leads to other opportunities.
Getting into antiquing (finally understanding why my mother loves it).
Bloody Mary bars.
Coffee, black.
Everybody Loves Raymond is one of the top five most relatable shows.
Your best friends are not the people you see everyday and they often live far away.
Incredibly grateful for experiencing the true sisterhood of female friendships.
Enough rambling. I love birthdays, y’all. My mom was the birthday master and because of her I have never experienced a bad one. As I wade into my thirties, I do not anticipate a birthday because of the presents anymore. I wake with excitement about the reflection of a life. At 33, I am looking forward to getting better with each year. I am being taught life’s sovereignty.
Earlier this year, my therapist told me to create a concept of the person I would most admire. How does she dress? What is she into? What makes her admirable to you?
She is the person you already are, the neon center of your being. She is who you are learning to be. So just copy her.
That is becoming. The guidance still clings to my chest like the sweater my mother gave me for Christmas this year.
I have so enjoyed writing you, dear blog, but I feel it is time for a lengthy break. Same goes for you, my beloved Instagram. I’m gliding into 2021 with care for my well-being and an opportunity to follow a dream of mine since I could write. This will require isolation- the biggest blessing of 2020- and very little distraction or interference. If you need me, send me a real letter…in addition to saving the earth, we really gotta figure this postal thing out.
xo.
Trailers and Trampolines 